When I was a kid, I remember having to go through the Kennedy assassination
during Thanksgiving right into Christmas with a family politically divided. Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, etc. I remember the whole mess being LOUD. I don’t remember my parents involved to any degree in the discussion and I don’t remember anyone talking about his death being a blessing. Maybe some did, I don’t know. Kids did not eat with the adults. They had their own space in the kitchen to talk kid things. The adults were seated at that long Dining room table. Thank Goodness.
What I do remember, were talks about the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Vietnam mess, the communists, Johnson, Oswald and civil rights. It was a hard Thanksgiving. Keep in mind the Jim Crow era was at it’s peak. We were in the south.
This 2018, this Thanksgiving will be hard on parents, grandparents and kids. My advice to you is division will not help any cause at a gathering. People have made up their minds on which side of the political spectrum they are sitting. You or me cannot change these folks.
My suggestion is that if others want to talk politics on this day or any Holiday where large numbers or even a few are gathered, keep your peace. Just don’t engage. There are many other times to discuss what a jerk so and so is, how we are oppressed, these times are terrible, or whatever, but now is not the time. It is extremely nerve wracking and take a minute and look around the table. How many seats will be empty in the coming years or coming months? Can we not have just one day that we do not engage in such divisive rhetoric? Just one day? if we can’t, then we do not need to get together to argue. I say this knowing we do not want our small grandkids and younger children look back and not understand what all the yelling was about? Why is Uncle John yelling at Aunt Betty? Why is Grannie crying and saying, “ Just stop”. Why is Uncle Marv telling the cousins, “Come on, we are leaving”. Why is there dead silence or even more arguing around a table that is now a hypocritical table of hurt feelings, sadness and wasted food?
These people have shared a most important part of your and my lives for most of your and my lives and why should one orange haired Baboon and his tribe of followers ruin another day, or gathering with people that just wanted to see their family enjoy a meal in peace. I say to all...keep your conversations light, focused and try not to delve into politics. I suggest this rule be set in place before any gathering at your home...if you are the elder. NO POLITICS Today. If this is unavoidable, and you are the guest, then just don’t go. Order a pizza. If you are the host….make it clear that disussion of politics is off limits. If the discussion starts, then kiss the cook and hug everyone and just walk away. You might live to see another Thanksgiving with lower blood pressure. It’s a day set aside for THANKSGIVING… Not the declaration of Division Day. Maybe we should have one of those days for the Gladiator fighters to gather and yell to the top of their lungs but this is not that day.
This time shall pass and we will deal with things as they arise, but having loud, upsetting discussion while trying to eat a meal is not healthy. I am not a doctor but gatherings will continue to happen at funerals, illness, and other unavoidable events with family or old friends of which you are not like minded. The sad thing is I cannot think of one thing that is not open for debate. Discuss the weather, well, that opens up climate change. Jobs? Another discussion. Maybe a reflection of times past like ..that is another debate...As MAGA like back then? I think if you discuss artwork or music..it might be a safe area.
If you engage in arguing, it just will end up the same way all of those discussions end. No one has had their mind changed. No one is happier. The only thing that happened is more pain and hurt feelings. You are not retreating in a war zone… You are just calling a truce to remember hugs, and smiles and a lighter time in life, unless, you happen to be one of those old enough to remember the assassanations and then you are even more aware of how bad things can get around a dinner table. Be a high road guest. Leave low roads to the ones who love drama and be no part of it.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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