This is a subject many of us do not want to talk about but as we age we think of things like this. We do not dwell on it but we think of it. Maybe, depending on one's faith , a certain set of protocols must go with a Funeral Director..I get that. I also get that people are too easily forgotten in this life when they pass and many have issues they never had the time to resolve as an Insurance Booming business playing on people's grief and pain got richer by selling the American people the idea showing love depended on their send off.
I think as in the Make America Great again speeches of nonsense we have been hearing, we have overlooked what has somewhat gone away with so called progress and in my opinion should not have. I found out today that home funerals are accepted in all but 8 states but during the late 60's and 70's people started depending on the Mortician more than ever before.
When a loved one passes, the best salespeople in the world would be the Big Morticians. Why have we allowed another big business dictate our desires and at a time we are most vulnerable ... during a loss that brings grief.
I remember as a child, being the daughter of a Baptist minister, many was the time of Sitting up with the Dead was very commonplace. When a relative or loved one died, the loved one was brought back home. This to me seems more natural. It is not right for all people but it seems right for this bunch. I think it shows a time for people to come together and face their own mortality and grieving process more easily. The life of the person seems more sensitive that in some cases.. Hurry up ..folks we need the next viewing to take place for the next customer.
I remember the " wake " process lasted about 3 days. The Big Funeral expenses go also to the Viewing expenses and room and now it seems that costs have risen so high that one can barely afford a respectful and decent send off.
When I was a child, family and friends gathered at the home of the next of kin where the deceased was to be brought home for the viewing. There was always food brought in and people who gathered flowers or sent a few flowers to the home and a wreath was placed on the door.
People seemed kinder in those days and times. The grieving members of the family usually took to their bedroom and a doc was not too far away if need be and they rested as best they could in the comfort of their home. They received guests if they wanted to as one kindly person sat in a chair and read or crocheted getting them whatever they needed. If they needed the pastor, or a family member or a friend to speak to, or just a drink of water. They grieved in the privacy of their home. If they felt like going to the body to view, they simply went to the room where the body was lying in state and spent time with them, getting out their goodbyes. It was more personal it seems to me. One or two sat all night with the deceased and in military cases, a soldier was on duty.. standing guard.
People usually signed a register and spent as much time as they wanted within reason and left. It was the normal way of grieving to me. It was dignified and there were people who gathered to support the family. It was just clearly more personal.
I found that most people could remember and share memories and break bread with those in need of comfort. There was also food brought in. The body was transported to a church or chapel or graveside after the viewing and the actual eulogies were performed. I honestly believe it made me more of a compassionate person and aware of the realities of passing from this life to whatever lies beyond. It made me more sensitive to the needs of others... It also was not 2 days and out of sight and out of mind and handed a big bill with strangers all around.
I find this way of going out much more comforting than locked up away from loved ones and only being given a certain time to visit and the sped up and costly viewing, burial, and services that are handed over to funeral directors every single day.
I may be old fashioned, but with this high tech world, what next? Holograms or skyped funerals? I think we need to get back to the basics of personal basics of the living and the dying. It to me seems to give a person time to grieve in their own way. They don't have to dress up, drive every day to a place they never really wanted to be and the deceased left alone in a room until the doors open for business. Not for me. It is not the way for all people but the way I really prefer to go out or my family to go out.
I know this is not a happy subject but one that should be contemplated and in depth for each person's own desires and grief process.
I read that the home thing is becoming more popular with the excess cost of final arrangements. Some people thought on some places I read that it was a hippie thing. I think it is a personal thing. I understand too, that so many are homeless, this would be difficult. Homelessness is another new thing the new America has too much of.
Stay safe and I hope I did not make you sad but something to give thought to.