This is satire… hard to tell these days but here goes..
A letter to my supporters from the Beautiful desk of Donald J Trump
Dear Wonderful People,
As the convention approaches, I wish to tell you beautiful, wonderful people who love me that this is harder than I thought. I have spoken my mind. My mind troubles me sometimes because I have so many beautiful thoughts and want to make America Great Again. I started out in this campaign to give wonderful ideas to the dumb shitheads who were running, a platform that was not unique. I wanted to say all the things they were thinking but they attacked my hands. I got upset and had to hit them back. We all know they were not attacking my hands. I wanted to build a wall. A beautiful, wonderful, huge wall to keep all the thugs out of America. The Mexican women take too many siestas and I can find not too many 10’s with the hispanic women. Charro was the last hispanic I thought would be close enough to a 10 for me to date. This brings me to the Judge. I know he loves his Mexican heritage and that is fine. He can do that but he doesn’t think I am special and he is treating me terribly terribly wrong. Have you seen his wife’s face? Oh ….and here he is trying to make more than my hands look small. I love the hispanic people but I hate that Judge. He is being very unfair and you can ask my wife, or my daughter or my friend, Chris Christie ..The judge is being very nasty to me. Very nasty. He is a thug and should be removed from the bench.
I want to talk about Joe Scarborough right now. Joe is being mean to me. Very disturbing to hear Joe say I am a racist. That lying two faced bastard knows I gave him lots of money.. Lots and lots of money. He is a lying two faced idiot who has hung around that Mika too long and has been influenced by her beautiful face. She is a snake and a liar and you beautiful people still stand with me.
Beautiful and wonderful supporters, I am going to withdraw from the race because I feel you are being used by a corrupt, radical and evil system. I have lots and lots of money and I think to serve you better, I need to start my own Political show and tell you the truth. You need to hear the sad, pitiful truth about that lying crooked Hillary and crazy Bernie Sanders and that foreigner Obama. You need to know more than I can say as President. You are all so beautiful and I want you all to know that every vote mattered to me. Every single beautiful vote mattered because I kept weak Jeb, and little Marco and Lying Ted from becoming the republican nominee. We have to make America great again..which reminds me ..please buy my hats in Red or Black now because black hats matter…….for only 400.99 bucks...I will sign them for an extra 30.00. I will give a military discount of 10 percent off.. ( maybe). I have lots and lots of people who will support my new Make America Great Again TV show. The RNC has been very unfair to me. This will work better for you. I will fight for you everyday but I just can’t work with these assholes who want me to change, so with this I will exit the party and leave the nomination of another to the rigged system. I am no politician. I am a swell guy… Ask anyone.
your friend,
Donald J. Trump