Do you want to know why I am so upset and passionate about this outrageous action by this government? Today I have a huge headache and this whole mess is bringing back some real unpleasant memories of not knowing where your toddler is , even for a short time.
I have experienced the horror of having my child snatched off a tricycle in 1972, taken by a stranger and I could hear the screams coming from the woods….then silence and could not do anything. The feelings I am about to describe will bring this to you on a first hand experience of NOT KNOWING where the child is and is in trouble.
October 2,1972. It was a cool October day and my little boy was right outside my window as I washed clothes and folded the ones out of the dryer. I had the windows open in a pretty deserted area on a piece of land my mobile home sat in the middle of the woods. I thought we were in a safe area ..No Mobile home park and just a few homes around us. I kept saying, as I fold clothes in the laundry room...”You OK baby” He would answer and say, “I’m wite here ( he couldn’t say right) Mommy.” I would peek out the window and he was playing on his tricycle in the yard. I got brave, feeling secure with no thought of danger and started putting clothes away. I yelled out window again, “Play right there baby”. Out came the words, “OK MOMMY”. I went back to the laundry room and opened the door and I did not see my son. I called his name. No answer. I yelled louder. No answer.
I could hear screaming in the wooded area but could not identify what area of the woods my child was at. I jumped down from the Mobile Home and ran into the woods and saw nothing. My heart was pounding. My reasoning now had gone completely crazy. I yelled to no response. I ran breathlessly from one area of the woods but the woods were deep. I heard nothing but faint screams. I was out of my mind with terror. I ran and knocked on the closest neighbor’s door. No answer. I grabbed a huge rock and smashed the glass door open. I had no idea what I was doing but looking for my son. Glass went everywhere. I think in my terrorized mind that somehow he wandered to that house. ( It was my ex husband’s boss’s home). I also thought he may be lost in the woods. I kept calling his name. Screaming and crying uncontrollably I was a Mother in a state of panic.
I ran back to my home and called my parents and the police. I was terrified. I could hear him screaming and I could not get to him, I could not find him, I could not comfort him or protect him.. I could do nothing but cry and beg for help. The trike was still sitting there but no son. My ex husband was working out of town and it was just me and it seemed like an eternity. I was not even audible when the police arrived and hysterical.
As the police started into the woods, I saw my child being pulled by the sleeve and I still in my mind clearly see what he was wearing. A long sleeve brown and white striped shirt made of cotton, pull over with three buttons sewed in front with a white collar. He had on no pants ..just in his underwear with his pants folded neatly over his arm as a neighbor’s German shepard was pulling him as he was crying hysterically. The dog was not our dog but was pulling him by the sleeve, the left arm towards us. (My parents had arrived by now) The police had hit the woods. I was running to him and remember seeing the dog had been beaten. The dog was bloody about the head and torso. When I picked up my child, there was blood on his underpants...I noticed it visibly as X marks ( not deep) but X marks on his buttocks. That was the only time I ever fainted. I fainted clear away.
My parents grabbed him up as I came to and his little arms were reaching out for me. I heard him say, “Dat man said he wuz gonna cut off my yeggs.” (legs) I then noticed he had dirt all over his mouth and a hand print over his mouth. The horror I was experiencing, no one will ever know unless they have been through such an experience. That separation period was a feeling no one can truly describe. The after effects were very bad for over two years. He was TWO YEARS OLD. That old sweet dog had saved his life. That I am sure of. No child of two could fold clothes that neatly over his arm. That dog was clearly beaten. The police came out of the woods. They claimed they saw where there was some sort of scuffle but saw no one. That two year old of mine could not tell them much other than a man who drives the red car took him off the tricycle and cut him with a knife...Not deep cuts but enough to draw blood. He did not say that they were superficial cuts but this is what we saw. I was still crying and hysterically and holding him so tight. I looked down at the dog and hugged him and he whimpered as I must have hurt him. The police took pics which no longer exist and DID NOTHING.. NOTHING I tell you, even though we had a neighbor who drove out of the area driving a red car and did not even stop as leaving the area as to ask why all the police was around. Very suspicious behavior as my child was screaming and pointing to the car.
The police took the man in and told me he passed the lie detector test so they let him go. I took my child to the doctor and he said he could not determine if he had been physically molested but was traumatized from not only the event but separation from his parent. That child was kidnapped plain and simple and assaulted.
I left that mobile home right then and never returned. I took my child to my parents and told my then husband to find us another place to live as I would not step foot in that trailer or that area EVER EVER again. I would not go back for one piece of clothing, one toy, one chair… NOTHING. He moved our stuff out of the home which was ours and I have no clue what happened to the trailer or the man
or the dog because I never ever went back or stepped foot into the area. My ex husband went door to door looking for the kidnapper including the man my child was identifying in his toddler way and threatned to kill him but was nearly arrested himself. I carried a bottle of muractic acid and a knife in the trunk of my car for years promising myself if my child EVER said, “ That’s the man”...I would get justice no matter the cost. My child in our new apartment would scream when I gave him a bath. He never wanted to bathe without his underpants. That went on for years. I cried for years. The scars remained on him for years.
If I went to take out the garbage, he would run to the window so he could see me. I was filled with guilt for allowing him to play outside my window without my supervision. That was 47 years ago. I never got over that day of terror when I was separated from my child and he says he barely remembers the incident. I saw and felt every single day his behavior up until he was about 6. He never wanted my parents or me out of his sight. He had nightmares. He became very hyper. I am now a helicopter MOM….Very very watchful and trust few people.
The panic, the feeling of helplessness, the horror was overwhelming. That was a short period of time. It changed me. FOREVER.
The bad /good part was my child returned to me but not by authorities but by a sweet and beaten down German Shepard.
When my former daughter in law was on drugs, she abandoned her daughter with me for months and I was given temporary custody and she grabbed that baby she had not seen in a long time and again the horror of separation anxiety for me not knowing what was happening to the little girl I had mothered since 4 months old. She already had 3 children who had been in foster homes ...with different dads and separted from my son due to her lifestyle. They have all been in counseling. We adopted them long before the last little girl she birthed 5 years later and was abandoned at our home. I did not want her in Foster care .
At that time the former daughter in law was a danger to herself and others. She was strung out on meth and many things for years. For 8 weeks I did not know where the baby I loved and fed and cared for was and I was the only Mother she knew. I hired a PI, called the police who did actively look for the baby who was 18 months old but the horror returned and I could not sleep nor eat and was a mess. My granddaughter had been taken from the only home or guardians she had know and was taken from place to place. She was returned to us by the law and we got permanent custody and eventually adopted her. That few weeks left her crying if I went into another room for months. In court it was reported she cried day and night to be home with us. This was testified by an Aunt under oath on the bio’s side of the family who felt so sorry for her but did not have the courage to cross her sister. She was at least with blood relatives ( sometimes) but it was not with the people she had bonded and took care of her and yes that separation made me even more watchful and almost always within yelling reach of her. Yes I know what it is like to be separated from your young children and it terrifies me every time I see these immigrant children and my heart is breaking in personal ways. The fear and horror is unbelievable and it is torture. TORTURE. It took 8 years for that bio Mom to get straight off of drugs to the point she could even take care of herself much less a child so babies need to be nutured and with their guardians and their parents they are used to. They need stability and love.
I am that little girl’s mother. I am my son’s mother. As far as my little girl, she had no real mother but someone who abandoned her. Giving birth does not a Mother make. She was separated from me for several weeks AND IT TOOK MY HUSBAND AND ME constantly calming her that no one would separate her from us again. I love you was constantly said to us and returned verbally back to her for months and months with lots of hugs.
Yes, I know how it feels and I still am sick every time I see those immigrant kids.