My fellow Comrades ... I mean Americans...Welcome to my wonderfu, beautiful, inauguration at becoming the first King ..Excuse me, I mean 45th president of the United States. I see oceans of people here.. A.Beautiful sea of white foam. Beautiful white as far as the eye can see. I and I alone will make America Great Again. It is a beautiful day even though a bit misty, I know my reign..I mean term is about to begin. I will finally get to be as important as I have known I have been since I was born. I always knew I was great. I always knew I had the best brain and good genesand I want to thank my family for being here. I was worried about Melania for a bit but I knew Ivanka could stand in as my First Lady on this great and beautiful day. Thank you Melania for being here by my side, now go sit down..
Thank you Mr, Putin. He is a wonderful leader and I hope to be just half as great as he, I won’t thank the crooked media for being here but today being so special to me and Russia, it is good they are here to record this great beginning of a New America. I will need them in 4 years from now but after they have crowded me enough… I want them to just disappear..especially CNN and BuzzFeed. Liars..they are all liars and crooked.
Doesn’t Ivanka look beautiful today...yes yes she does. Melania looks amazing..for a woman her age. Sit back down Melania… Stand up Ivanka..doesn’t she look beautiful ….I want you to know that there are no protests at this inauguration. No.. No there isn’t. The rumors and reports are just a product of fake news and don’t you believe there is anything going on here … WRONG. Everything is perfect. Everyone loves me... Mike Pence and his . wife who is a 4 is here..and I picked a great co King I mean Vice President.
The black people have moved out of the White house… thank goodness and see.. we are already making America great again by restoring the correct color in the WHITE house. I have many many many great things planned for America. Believe me. You will not recognize things when I start come Monday. I want to thank Mike Pence for speaking for me and being my successor. I mean VP.
I want to thank the people at Arlington yesterday. Yes, even those lucky ones buried at the tombs. In spirit, they knew greatness has finally come to lay wreaths. Did you notice the wreath was white?
So beautiful. So big. So nice. I appreciate the high IQ’s of my cabinet. They are so smart and I am so grateful for their large Iq’s.
I notice Crooked Hillary is here and I know it must pain her but loooosers have to come because she knows I won so she has to be here...because she was married to Bill. Trust me she was no lady.
I am going to wrap this up because I have to call Vlad and tweet about my day and please enjoy the prayers at those churchie services and The Morman Tabernacle Choir appearing somewhere tonight and let us begin this beautiful beautiful and amazing journey into a new time. I wish the Bush’s well and thank them for not dying and ruining my inauguration. Thank you Bushes.
I wrote this beautiful and wonderful ..believe me… speech by myself. I am one helluva leader and I want to take this opportunity to quote JFK our 30 something president with one small change. Ask not what I can do for your country but what you can do for me. God Bless Putin and Gold Bless the USSR. I ..I MEAN the USA.