As I watched the Liveblog today and read some diaries and, I have to admit, I was pretty sad. I first read Kos’s about Schumer and then the Press Conference of President Obama. I read over the mess in North Carolina as reported by Randall and DocDawg. I glanced up at the lights on the Christmas tree as I felt this churn in the pit of my stomach and an overwhelming sadness. I looked around and saw the little replica of a tee pee glowing on the mantle. I thought about Standing Rock and then I read Navajo’s diary on the brave warriors. The tears welled up in my eyes but I could not cry. I think I am just numb. I am angry and mostly just disappointed. I found out today, something I had suspected for quite some time, that the America I believed in, is not real. The flag that my husband and other brave souls fought under in useless wars are truly meaningless now because soon enough even the freedoms we had will no longer exist. Big Oil. The thirst of greed and power has killed the things we felt we were taught to believe. America has never had a great deal of decency dating back to the SalemWitch trials. I always felt we had hope though. It is truly sad to see the dreams of Martin Luther King, Bobby Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, FDR, and all those freedom fighters die before your eyes.
I kind of understand President Obama saying what he said today to preserve his legacy which will not be preserved. The President is an eternal optimist. He can afford to be. He still has faith in the American people to do the right thing but he does not live in many of our worlds of trying to make it day to day. He does not see the pain of so many of us suffering for answers of why we must endure this illegitimate presidency. I doubt he has friends and family that turned to a man like Trump. He still believes that if more people got out and voted and work harder, they would succeed. I worked my butt off this last election and not one person other than Charlie Crist was elected with the dem brand. Not one. Every other person was beaten out by people who had R’s by their name and refer to us as Libtards.
Kos was upset over Schumer and reasonably so. Those dems bend over and extend hands to people who had just as soon discount them and mock them and they will never change hearts and minds of those who love oil and greed. They won’t mock Schumer as much as they do us because he has some of the same friends as the big oil people. We, on the other hand, the people who have fixed incomes, or part time jobs or no jobs, saved what little they have ( which is not much if any) struggle for food and medicine with hopes to leave their children and grandchildren in a place better than they watch in disbelief as all their sacrifices of their youth disappear. Some of these people suffered and wanted instant relief while living under Republican statehouses and got bamboozled into believing the lies of a crazy man. A dictator. A PT Barnum. They have been had.
Things like the Civil rights movment.I believe, little by little is being dismantled. Things like progress for equal pay , the Americans with Disability Act and healthcare along with college grants, better education, Climate Change, Clean air and water regulations, medicare, social security, all the things progressives believe in, just vanish. the brave Native American at Standing Rock fighting for their water to be hosed and bitten by dogs and water cannoned. Those things are in plain sight. I imagine Big oil and Donald Trump counting down the days as I type to restore the drilling and polluting of that land. I see America up on the Auction block and the President still wanting to be bipartisan. I heard a lecture today about how he still believed there were no red states or blue states and we had more in common than what separates us but in my opinion, his presidency alone proves that statement wrong.
I see families torn apart by this election. I see what seemed to be good people showing their real bigotry and it hurts. I see so much pain and anguish over this election from people still fighting over the primaries but we do need to let that go because we all lost. It does no good to have would have ,could have, should have thoughts. I think maybe Obama feels like the people will get the president they deserve. That is what I picked up today. He could have declassified the CIA briefs. He chose not to do that. I can only imagine how Hillary Clinton feels and that is sad as well. Gore hurt and probably still hurts for the longest but he did not have Russian interference. He just had Republican interference. He was a he as well and the woman will suffer greater than the man. Women have to try and prove over and over ..they are as good, or competent or smart as a man. This country is not ready for a woman president….not yet. Ahhh...and the pain one feels from the evangelical hypocrites, especially if you were brought up believing the Golden Rule and common decency. I am watching all of that vanish.
It was all just a lie. A more perfect union…..Not in this America.I feel like the America I was taught to believe in just fell in a great big pot of tea and no body was willing to take that tea party or obstructionists bunch on. I feel we have been scalded out of a country and the gaslighted, fearmongers and liars and Russians just threw away years of progress of a country that could have been preserved for our kids and their kids. Their futures do not have a great deal of hope and they are less safe than we were.
Yes it is Christmas but this Christmas I feel just like I did when I found out Santa wasn’t real. It was all a fantasy. From the time I found out, I felt Rudolph and Dasher and Prancer were nice thoughts but not real. I have the same sick feeling and yes I still remember how much I believed, when I hear words like ra,,,head, ni,,ger, pu..y, jewboy, f.g, all those words that I thought had gone away and not been normalized by a man named Trump and his deplorable followers. The words bitch, slut, cunt, all bad bad words that I believed had disappeared from mainstream. It was all fantasy. They did not disappear. They were hidden. The decent political correct and common sense narrative has been replaced by hatred in a country I do not recognize with people I do not understand. People in the south for decades have tried to educate the hateful and hoped for progressive times to move forward to believe in America but all we got was a country more divided and mean. I hope we revolt in a peaceful way but we have to turn this feeling of loss into something of a last stand.
It is really hard to fight and I will continue to fight but I won’t believe in this country again until common sense and decency is restored and I am not sure I will live that long, or even if our kids and grandkids can see that happen… It will take years and years and years to undo this horrible place we have found ourselves in. Every flag in my house has been turned upside down. I won’t pledge allegience...and I won’t stand for the National Anthem. I might as well put my hand over my heart and pledge allegience to Santa Claus and sing Jingle Bells. Same thing. Meteor Blades signature of
“ Don’t tell me what you believe, show me what you do and I will tell you what you believe” sure rings true this day and time. So what do you do ….?